I have been working diligently behind the scenes as of late, ignoring my blog, Twitter and Facebook. As I put my head down, working on projects that were important as they were income-generating, I struggled with something that has often been capable of holding me back in the past.
Like many artists, writers, or creatives, I go through phases where I find myself wondering just what the heck I am doing. Why I am doing it? Is this what I should be doing? Is it how I should be spending my life? Where did all that time go? Why haven’t I finished my novel? Why haven’t I picked it up in weeks? Months?
These moments of self-doubt creep up on me and while they used to be paralyzing, I’ve found that working through them can help me push them aside. I can’t let them stop me. It would be an endless cycle.
Just Because Your Writing Career Doesn’t Look The Way You Imagined It Would
I have always aspired to be a writer. At a young age I had a very clear vision of what that would be. And while I must admit that I did go on to become a professional writer, it just wasn’t in the way that I had hoped.
I was certain that I would be an author. That I would write books in the fantasy/science fiction genres and that would be that. I had no idea that I would become a copywriter and that the majority of my work would be to write marketing copy and blog posts. But that’s what I do now.
It was a constant battle to remind myself that while I wasn’t doing what I had hoped, I was still a writer.
I’d love to do nothing but write fantasy books, but it isn’t realistic. Fewer and fewer author are able to make a living entirely off their careers as fiction writers. And it isn’t just in this particular industry that this problem exists.
I see many of my musician friends who have been relegated to taking day jobs to support their music career. And I often see them view it as a failure.
In all honesty, I used to feel that way about my writing career. Working at a job that wasn’t writing what I wanted to write was a failure. But really, when I think about it now, it wasn’t. I’m still writing. Even if it wasn’t what I originally envisioned. I am writing. And that’s worth celebrating. Or, at least, worth reminding myself that I am doing what I wanted even if it doesn’t look the way that I wanted it to look.
So for now, I am going to continue keeping my head down. Working at my job, writing marketing blurbs and posts during the day. Heading home and working up the motivation to open up my fantasy book and keep at it.
I cannot wait for inspiration to find me. I must go out and find it myself.